I see my race suit and I want it painted black
My hat and racing gloves I want them to turn black
I see the teams ski by dressed in their colored suits
I simply shake my head and lace up my ski boots
This morning, while I finished packing my racing gear and getting ready to go to the Christmas Pole, I watched "Cold as Ice," starring none other than Vanilla Ice. Before I start my critique of this film, allow me to state that I have never seen a Bruce Campbell movie I didn't like and I loved Spring Break Shark Attack. For those of you who aren't Bruce Campbell fans and don't watch made for TV movies, sufficed to say I like movies that are so bad they are actually good. As such, I loved this movie. Vanilla Ice plays a rapping motorcyclist who, based on the attire of everybody else in the film, has somehow been transported back to the 1950s. The thing that really got me about this film was that even though most of the actors seemed resigned to the fact that this was the low point of their acting careers, Vanilla Ice seemed to take this movie as seriously as anybody wearing parachute pants and a backwards policeman's cap can. Spoiler alert: In the end, since this is his fantasy, Vanilla Ice gets the girl. My big question was, is she stupid. Spoiler alert: Yes. Nothing she does seems to make any sense in the real world, and I honestly wonder if she was somehow transported into the movie from a fairy tale by Baba Yaga, since the characters in those don't follow common logic either.
Now that none of you will ever take my movie advice again, the Christmas Pole. The snow was soft, and as you may have guessed from my title, I wore enough black to attend a wake. The only things I wore that weren't black were my Madshus skis and boots, and my Swix poles. But they all had quite a bit of black on them. It was a really fun race. I love courses with long, grinding hills, which this had. I also love races in really chewed up snow that throws everybody off their rhythm, which was the conditions today. I got out decently in the start, steadily moved up, and broke away with 5km to go. Hopefully today's win is not the high point of my season. But based on the fact that I drank a liter of PowerBar Recovery and ate a PowerBar Recover Bar on the way down, had a big lunch, and am not sure whether I can make it to dinner without a snack, I'm going to say I'm hungry for more.